Brain-Enhancing Drug Scandal

On the heels of Senator George Mitchell's report on the abuse of performance enhancing drugs in baseball, comes word that the phenomenon had been quite common outside the world of sports as well. New rumors have surfaced out of Sweden alleging that at least one-fourth of all Nobel laureates had at one time or another used brain-enhancing drugs to boost their intellectual capabilities. Critics claim their Nobel prizes were unearned and should be rescinded. One disgruntled scientist said, "These findings are truly unfair to all of us scientists with lower IQs who played by the rules. I think the world should immediately stop using whatever inventions those cheaters created!"