Sunday, August 26, 2012

A (Tall) Tale of Two Armstrongs

This has been a tough week for folks named Armstrong. First, Lance announced that he was giving up his fight to prove that he didn't take performance-enhancing drugs. He was immediately stripped of his seven Tour de France titles. Those victories will be awarded to the "clean" runners up, no matter how deep they have to go to find them.

After the news about Lance, we learned that Neil passed away. Of course, Neil is famous for being the first man to walk on the moon. But soon after Neil's death, it was revealed that he, too, had dabbled with performance-enhancing drugs. Some experts believe this gave him an edge, allowing him to beat Buzz Aldrin out of the escape hatch of their spacecraft. It seems that Neil will be stripped of his title. From now on Buzz will be known as the First Man to Walk on the Moon, assuming of course that he was clean.